All about Impact Play

What comes to mind when you hear "impact play"?

Do you think of a kinky spanking in your schoolgirl uniform? Perhaps you imagine a whip and a St. Andrew's cross. You might think of being naked in the dungeon, with your arms on a rope overhead, while your partner decides whether they will spank you with a paddle, a whip, a crop or their hand.

All that - and more - is part of impact play. You don't necessarily have to be a masochist or sadist to enjoy impact play. It can be something you use in other parts of your kinky life. Wherever you fall on the spectrum, from "just a little tap please" to "let it burn, let me bleed!" there is plenty to learn, try and enjoy in impact play.

Impact play and kink

People can enjoy any kind of impact play, from hitting over the knee to whipping to bleeding, have their own reasons for it. Not every kink enjoys it for the same reason. In fact, impact play can affect multiple kinks.

Sadism and masochism

This probably seems obvious, but many people enjoy impact play because they want to feel or cause pain. They are sadists or masochists. However, not all are created equal. Just because someone likes the slap of the bare hand doesn't mean they will enjoy the piercing pain of a cane. Many kinksters separate pain into stabbing pain and thudding pain and often have a clear preference for one or the other. Some people love pain so much that they don't care what kind of pain is.

Discipline

Some forms of impact play are done in response to other behaviors. In a power exchange relationship, a spanking or flogging could be used as a test of endurance for the spanking or submissive. How long can they endure the impact or pain before they start screaming, moving, or responding in some other way?

Punishment and entertainment

In many (but not all) power exchange relationships, impact play can be used as a form of punishment for bad behavior. Broken rules, missed tasks, and a sassy mouth can earn a willing submissive a red buttock or a few stretch marks. On the other hand, pleasure is a fun form of "punishment" if both the Dom and the sub know that the bad behavior is not meant to be disrespectful, but to earn the pleasurable experience of impact.

Humiliation

Humiliating fetishes can take many forms, from boot licking to crawling and begging. Slapping can be very humiliating for someone who does not want to be a "bad girl" or "bad boy. On the other hand, from a personal perspective, a slap in the face is humiliating because it is a very personal thing and not something we associate with sex or love. For those of us who crave humiliation, this can be fun

However, tops and dominants should be aware that some acts can trigger bad memories and feelings. If you use impact play as part of humiliation, check in with your partner regularly

Types of Impact Play

Impact play comes in many forms. You may enjoy one type of play, such as spanking, and not be interested in others. In all impact play, the top (or dominant) who will spank their partner should never do so until they have practiced and gotten an idea of how it works. Pillows, beds and other surfaces that are not people are a good place to start.

Safety words and gestures are a must in any impact game. Real physical injuries can occur, and a subordinate or a submissive must be able to end a scene or play the moment something doesn't feel right. Gestures, such as dropping an item, clicking or even stomping a foot, are necessary if the sub is gagged or for some other reason cannot speak or make sound

Dominants, don't be shy about stopping a scene even if your partner is still willing. If you are concerned about their safety and well-being, it is better to stop and check on them.

Hit

Probably the most common form of impact play is hitting. It can range from something you do during sex to a form of punishment in a power exchange relationship. Most spanking is done with your hand, but numerous other implements can be used:

Leather belt

Wooden spoon

Paddle

Hairbrush

Paddles and slappers

In short, if it has a flat edge and can be held in your hand, it can be used to slap someone's buttocks.

Tips for hitting.

If you are just starting to spank, start with your hand. Rub your partner's buttocks. This gives them a signal that you are about to start. And, in my experience, a gentle touch reminds your partner that you are doing this in a willing or even loving way.

Pull back and bring your palm down on their butt. Pick a cheek, one cheek at a time. You don't want to start out hitting them as hard as you can. First of all, your hand will get tired faster. Second, it may be too much for your partner, and they are more likely to end things with a safety word than either of you would like. Start slowly.

Alternate where your hand lands. If their skin starts to turn pink, you may want to pick up speed or intensity. For really red spots or intense sensations, land a few (or several) blows in the same spot.

Pay attention to your partner's body language. If they pull away, cry, or make sounds that don't sound like they're enjoying themselves, ask if they want you to continue. Slow down if the intensity is too high for them.

Flogging

Flogging is a form of impact play that allows you to spank your partner on multiple parts of their body and create different sensations, depending on the technique and type of flogger you use. There are many different types of floggers:

Suede floggers

Leather floggers

Silicone floggers

Paracord floggers

Rubber floggers

Strands of almost any type of material that can be bundled with a handle can be called a flogger.

Before flogging someone, watch videos, go to a workshop and practice on pillows or on the bed. Never hit someone with any force until you know how to use your flogger. The basic technique is to twist your wrist in an 8 motion while holding the handle so that the strands make contact with the body. As you become more comfortable, you can practice a method called florentine, using a flogger in each hand.

Your partner can be placed on the bed, against the wall, bent over a table, in the middle of the room, or against an Andreas cross. The important thing is that you have access to their body and space to swing the flogger.

Flogging can be as gentle or painful as you and your partner. Slow and steady swings will create a deep thudding sensation. Fast and sharp movements, so that the points of the flogger touch the skin first, will cause a sting. By alternating your speed and intensity, your partner will receive plenty of physical stimulation and keep him on his toes both literally and figuratively.

Where the flogger hits is just as important as the intensity. The back is the most common target for a flogger, but once you've had some practice, you can try the chest, thighs, and even their genitals (carefully!). Avoid the sides of the body and stomach, as you can do real damage to their internal organs.

Whipping

Whipping is similar to flogging in that you have an item made of some kind of material, usually leather, that impresses your partner while you hold a handle and move your wrist and arm. Because whipping can cause stretch marks, cuts, and even blood, it is extremely important that you practice on a pillow, couch, teat, or anything other than a person until you are familiar with the whip.

The most common whip scene usually includes the bullwhip - a long whip that can swing around a person's body upon impact. Because of the potential danger to internal organs, you'll want to learn from someone with a lot of experience before playing with a whip, but especially the bull whip, on your partner. Other types of whips include:

Dragon's Tail - A very popular whip for beginners that is easy to use and control

Stock Whip - With its long handle, you move with it as if you were casting a fishing rod and get a nice cracking sound.

Quirt - Similar to a stock whip but smaller with a forked tail at the end. Great for beginners.

Snake Whip - A one-tailed, braided whip that resembles the scale of a snake.

As with any implement in impact play, the amount and type of pain depends on how hard and fast the whip hits the body. Always provide a safeword for impact play, but especially for whipping because injury is a very real threat.

Cuts and blood are very real possibilities. Make sure you know how to hold the whip, how far away to be, how to move your wrist, and what to do to whip your partner so they feel the pain without being injured.

Caning

Ask people who love impact play what they think of the cane (assuming they've tried it), and you'll get one of two responses.

"I love the cane!"

"OMG, please, not the cane!"

A cane is a long, cylindrical rod used to hit the body in large muscle areas, but is sometimes used on the bottoms of the feet and other parts of the body. Like other hitting toys, they can be made of almost anything: bamboo, wooden dowels, plastic. Canes also come in many lengths from 30 centimeters to well over a meter.

The main feature of the cane is its ability to locate the sensation, discomfort and, in my opinion, the burning pain that makes you think you've just been ripped in half on impact. Because the impact is centralized to a very specific location on the body, usually the bottom, it can leave marks and bruises without as many blows or as much force as other toys.

If your partner is sensitive to pain and can only handle a few strikes, consider mixing in other sensations between each use of the cane or saving them until the end of your game or scene and finishing with a few quick strikes.

For those who really enjoy the sensation of the cane, you can use it as long as you and your partner can stand it, but it is safest to start slowly and build up the intensity and speed of your strokes. The nice thing about the cane is that a little can go a long way.

Stomping and striking

Punching and striking are less common forms of impact play, which probably has to do with the stigma surrounding them both and how we were taught to deal with people. A punch is a blow with open hands, while a punch is with a closed fist. Neither should be administered in anger or without consent, as in any other impact game.

As a masochist and submissive who enjoys rough sex, both punches and slaps have a place in your kinky fun. A quick slap on the cheek can get your partner's attention or cause a physical reaction in the rest of their body.

If you are the one being spanked, you can stroke your partner's cheek as a sign of what is about to happen. If you are the one being slapped, I recommend relaxing your jaw if you think a slap is coming. A clenched jaw makes things worse and can cause your teeth to chatter.

Punching is completely different and should not be done to the face. You also don't want to hit your partner with your knuckles. Instead, use the flat part of your fist and only punch large muscle groups. Where can you hit your partner? Note that wherever you can hit your partner, you can usually hit him.

Along the back and shoulders in the muscles next to the spine. Never hit someone in the back.

Across their buttocks

On their thighs - back and front

Arm

Chest - with women, this will probably be above your breasts; however, hitting is great for breasts, especially if yours are sensitive.

You will probably spank your partner on their back and across their buttocks more than anywhere else. Listen to your partner's verbal cues and watch their reaction. When my partner spanks me, if he is not careful, his hand turns and I feel his knuckles. To me, this is not good pain, and I tell him so.

As with other forms of impact play, you want to avoid the sides and belly where the internal organs are. You should also go slow and practice on your own leg or pillow before hitting your partner for the first time.

Aftercare

All kinky play needs some form of aftercare, but it is especially important with impact play. Your partner has often just been hit with an object or by hand. This may have caused them to enter the subspace and they may not be completely lucid. Marks may appear and muscles may be sore. They may also be related to emotions that were released as part of the impact, pain or experience. Aftercare is an absolute must.

Everyone needs something different, but basic aftercare includes water, a blanket, holding or holding your partner's hand, and talking to them even if they can't talk back yet. Because everyone is unique, your partner may not want a blanket, but may need a stuffed animal. She may not want you to talk. Maybe they need music. If this is your first time playing and neither of you is sure what the aftercare will look like, start with the basics.

Doms and tops should check in with their partner a few hours later and the next day to make sure the bottom or submissive is doing well mentally and physically. Subdrop is something very real and some bruising, marks or pain may appear the next day.

Impact play, like other forms of kinky pleasure, can be as big or as small and as wild or as quiet as you like. Grab a wooden spoon and spank your partner. Go to the leather store and look at the whips. Try your hand (no pun intended) at whipping and spanking. Whatever interests you and your partner is there to try. The important thing is to go slow, play it safe and experiment.