Regaining your submission after a hard day's work

Many submissives have jobs where they are managers or business owners or in some way in charge. Sometimes it can be a challenge to regain your submission at the end of a busy working day. A sub can use rituals to help her achieve the right frame of mind, leave the outside world behind and reclaim the D/s world.

Using Rituals

What is a ritual A ritual is usually a specific series of actions performed for a chosen reason. As Wikipedia states:lt:

The purposes of rituals are varied; with religious obligations or ideals, the satisfaction of practitioners' spiritual or emotional needs, strengthening of social ties, social and moral education, demonstration of respect or submission _, _ stating one's belonging, gaining social acceptance or approval for a particular event - or, sometimes, just for the pleasure of the ritual itself. (http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ritual)

The ritual of turning on your submissive self can be a combination of all these purposes. You may be strengthening your bond with your Dom by taking actions he has ordered or increasing your identification with your submissive side by performing a task you normally wouldn't. You can show respect for your Dom while taking the time to prepare for him. Last but not least, you can give yourself the pleasure of getting away from the outside world and entering a place that offers you the comfort and satisfaction you find as a submissive.

Preparations

It can be helpful to think of your front door as a portal to the D/s world. You and your Dom can create a special ritual that starts right at the door. A submissive told me that her Dom meets her at the door when she comes home from work. She kneels in front of him and hands over her keys and wallet. Removing these objects takes away her 'businesslike' personality and makes her a subject of her Dom.

If your house is warm enough and private enough, removing clothes or changing clothes (to something sexy, not your big flannel yummies) will complete the transition to being submissive.

If your Dom isn't home to greet you, preparation rituals can put you in a submissive spirit. A simple shower after work can be used as a cleansing ritual to receive your Dom while washing away the corporate personality. More focus on intimate shaving, using scented soaps or perfumes, applying make-up - all these can be used as rituals for submission. If you're not going to see your Dom for a while, you can spend extra time plucking eyebrows or dabbing on perfume, just to feel the centering power of submission after a busy day.g.

If you usually use makeup and perfumes, save a particular brand or style to use only when you're in submissive mode. My Dom encouraged me to paint my toenails during sandal weather as a reminder of my submission, but when I visit, I apply a brighter color.

nadu

If your Dom comes to visit your home, or comes home later than you, you may assume a ritual position just before he gets there. The Gorean position of Nadu ("pagar nadu") is particularly suitable for this. The basic pose is to sit on your heels, back and shoulders straight, chest out and stomach in. You hold your head up, but your eyes are lowered. Spread your thighs out and rest your hands on them with your palms up. It's easy to feel submissive in this pose, and it's a beautiful way to greet your Master.

The ultimate ritual

The main method for me to get back the submissive mindset is through the collar. If you don't wear a collar every day, you can have your Dom put a collar around your neck when you get home. If for family or other reasons you can't show a regular collar, your Dom can find a collar that could be mistaken for a necklace. You will know the meaning, but it could pass as 'vanilla'.'.

I wear a chain collar every day. If I feel tense or need to reconnect, I reach up and touch the collar. I feel connected to my submission and can carry on with what I do in a more grounded way. I also have a leather collar, which I put on for an event. Once the collar is on I am firmly in a submissive mode as I feel the restriction around my neck.

These are just some of the many ways a submissive can re-enter the D/s world after a day in the business/work world.